This picture was taken around the same time we started trying to have another baby. What seemed like such a simple thing to do turned into many tests, tears, brokenness, and lots of asking God why.
For six years now we have prayed for a second child and for some reason or another it has not worked out for us. We've tried everything that we can afford and went (and still are at times) going through the many ups and downs that couples go through when they are told they can't have anymore children. Yet every month I'm eager to take another test just in case. I've had my children's names doodled on a notebook for years now and just will never believe that they won't exist. I've been jealous of friends and family who have had no issues getting pregnant. I don't want to be- I'm happy for them. I truly am. I'm just sad about it sometimes.
I will be the first to admit that initially our curiosity with foster care began out of the desire to have more children and give our son a sibling but then God changed my heart. I was very afraid in the beginning, always finding the negatives to the situation.
We started our foster journey in January 2016 and as aggravating as it has been at times because of the long process I think that God did that on purpose. We needed time for God to show us what he was up to. It's not about us. It's about children needing a safe place to live and someone to love them and provide for them. We have so much love to give and instead of thinking of the situation as scary and not ideal, we now think of it as a beautiful opportunity to pour God's love into another human being to take back out into the world.
After all, that's what God did for us. Ephesians 1:5 says, "God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure."
Over the past year I have learned that the children we so desire may not come in the way I always imagined but rather in ways I never even dreamt of. My heart aches for these children now and I am beyond excited to love on them for however long that might be. I hope and pray that some of you out there may have this desire as well and want to do something about it!
If you have any questions at all or want to know how to get started to foster/adopt please contact me. I would love to send you in the right direction and pray with you. If we don't do it, then who will?
